Dating someone with childhood trauma

How do you help a middle aged man come to terms with his childhood?An abusive father, favoritism and a few failed relationships that left him high and dry makes me wonder how these experiences have and may continue to effect his decisions in a relationship.I suspect that the work he does is out of a longing to feel good about himself.He is dissatisfied with his accomplishments and wants to be more but refuses to put himself in spaces where he might be judged in ways he feels are unfair to the person he has become.He has the capacity and credentials to compete for work with the best of them yet says he prefers to do front-line work which, at best, will change the lives of a few people.